Where do pets come from?
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light
on the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me
everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is
difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will
be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless
of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion
will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of
yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his
tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in
the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name
for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him.
And Adam was comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and
preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him
humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who
will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion
will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.
And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was
not the supreme being.
And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.
Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs are Better than Cats
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving
in the first place.
4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever
made since the day you were born.
5. A dog knows when you're sad and he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where
the can-opener is.
6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in them.
7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own basket or they won't
go at all.
8. Dogs will happily come when you call them. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only things cats will play with for any period of time are small rodents
or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain.
10. Dogs will wake you if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.
When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.
He set the house on fire
But the story's long to tell.
Suffice it to say that he survived
And the house survived as well.
On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,
He was always first out the door.
The Old One and I brought up the rear
Because our bones were sore.
He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,
What a beautiful pair they were!
And if it was still light and the tourists were out,
They created a bit of a stir.
But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks
And with a frown on his face look around.
It was just to make sure that the Old One was there
And would follow him where he was bound.
We are early-to-bedders at our house -- I guess I'm the first to retire.
And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me
And get up from his place by the fire.
He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,
And I'd give him one for a while.
He would push it under the bed with his nose
And I'd fish it out with a smile.
And before very long He'd tire of the ball
And be asleep in his corner In no time at all.
And there were nights when I'd feel him Climb upon our bed
And lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.
And there were nights when I'd feel this stare
And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there
And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.
And sometimes I'd feel him sigh and I think I know the reason why.
He would wake up at night
And he would have this fear
Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,
And he'd be glad to have me near.
And now he's dead.
And there are nights when I think I feel him
Climb upon our bed and lie between us,
And I pat his head.
And there are nights when I think I feel that stare
And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,
But he's not there.
Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,
I'll always love a dog named Beau.
--- Jimmy Stewart
